sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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