I seem to have left my pride at pride
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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