I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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