Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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