i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
