thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
