i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
