awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
