Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
