Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
