thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
