Define "chronic" masturbator.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
