We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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