I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
