she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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