franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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