eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
