I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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