Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
