I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
