Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
