so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
