I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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