Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
