just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Are we still banned from the library?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
