I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
