Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize