lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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