My brain says no but my pants say off.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Panties = found
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
