i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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