how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
