Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
