ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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