Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
