mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
