I am full of burrito and curiosity
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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