Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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