drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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