I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
