He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
