goodnight i made you a song goodbye
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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