Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
