The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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