am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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