Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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