If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
