and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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