Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
