You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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