so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
