He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
