I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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