Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
