hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
