That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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