Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
